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Have you ever wished you could bottle up the wisdom and life experiences of your elders? You’re not alone. As financial planners at A&I Wealth Management, we understand that a family’s legacy is far richer than just financial assets. It’s the stories, values, and traditions that truly shape future generations. That’s why we believe capturing these narratives is an essential part of legacy planning.
Meet Bernie…
Bernie, a widower, longed to share his life stories and wisdom with his family. However, his attempts often fell flat due to his declining health and his family’s busy lives. One day, his financial planner, aware of Bernie’s desire to leave a legacy, recorded one of his stories about his beloved wife, Zelda. This simple act sparked a chain reaction. Bernie’s family, moved by the video, began actively recording his stories, reigniting their interest in preserving their family history.
We’ve developed six key tips to help you embark on this meaningful journey. From brainstorming sessions to harnessing technology, these strategies will empower you to document and preserve the heart and soul of your family history. And remember, we’re here to support you every step of the way, offering guidance and expertise to ensure your family’s legacy is remembered for years to come.
Talk to a financial planner.
Professional financial planners, like those here at A&I Wealth Management, can guide you through legacy planning, including helping you initiate conversations and facilitate family meetings. Safe spaces to share can be provided along with an unbiased documentarian to capture any meeting notes. Financial planners can also take these family notes and weave them into financial planning to achieve a client’s goals and uphold values. Finally, a professional financial planner can also connect you with professionals that you may need to provide additional guidance on your legacy plan.
Brainstorming idea: 15 things
One of the best ways to get things flowing is to set aside our internal judge. A great tactic for setting aside internal biases is to conduct a brainstorming session. There are countless ways to do this. One of our favorite methods at A&I Wealth Management takes five minutes. All that you and your family need is a pen and paper and full participation. Something magical happens and is more likely to happen when everyone in the family is writing and participating. The facilitator, in this the financial planner, asks everyone to write down 15 things you know to be true within five minutes. That’s it. It can be anything. The sky is blue–true. Next. The sky is black. True. One of the keys with brainstorming is no judgment.
The brainstorming session here produces a document that is likely to have some profound truths that you may want to pass on to your inheritors. In sessions I have run, they include truths about fidelity, faith and loyalty to a spouse. The advice can be priceless.
Video or audio recording
If writing even a few sentences over a few minutes seems daunting, consider a conversation. Remember the book “Tuesdays with Morrie?” A recorded conversation with a smart phone in hand can capture amazing stories. You might even include video. A younger generation asks the elder to have a conversation and in that conversation, advice is dispelled. Truths appear. Sometimes it just takes a little courage and a quiet place for the magic to happen. One important piece of advice: the younger generations need to do the work in recording. Not just because they are more likely to be confident with the technology, but because if they are interested, so is the elder. Everyone likes to talk about themselves and share their insights. Grandma and Grandpa are no different.
Legal documents
It is important to note that if you write or record one of these sessions, they are not considered legal documents. You may, if you are worried, take them to an estate attorney just to be sure. You do not want any mistakes to be made that could cause friction, confusion or worse, a legal dispute in the family. While you are discussing legal documentation, perhaps do a quick review of key legal documents that are indeed needed, like durable power of attorney, guardianship designations, living wills, advanced healthcare directives and other important estate planning documents.
Trusts, foundations and family corporations
If the elder has enough assets, and the desire, they could create legal documents that help structure the transfer of wealth alongside their values. For example, one family we worked with invites all blood-relatives to be part of the board of directors. The younger ones choose charities for the family foundation. The older ones present business plans, and the family votes whether to fund any of the younger generations’ requests. This teaches them discipline, empowers them, and also ensures that the elder generation’s values, wishes and goals transfer to their relationships.
Making the most of elders alone time
Elders are often alone with their thoughts and memories. When given a chance to be with the younger generations, they often do not remember the wisdom they wanted to impart. The words often escape them when they need them the most! Finding ways to empower our elders so they can record their important wisdom, and impactful memories, enriches everyone in the family. Invite them to write a legacy letter, participate in a brainstorming session, or simply ask them to share… just getting started is a big part of the task. Technology can make it even more impactful and important. Teach elders how to hit record on their smart phones. You can even give them older technology like a hand voice recorder. Just ask them what makes them the most comfortable and willing. Sometimes, our inner critics stop us from taking the next step. But the first step of simply beginning the process can be a big gift. It is also worth remembering, every story captured can be changed at a future date if additional details need to be added. We do not have to have a perfect draft to make a big impact.
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In conclusion
Capturing the stories, experiences, and wisdom of our elders is a gift we give not only to future generations but to ourselves. By taking the time to listen, to learn, and to document these precious narratives, we create a bridge between the past and the present, ensuring that the values, traditions, and lessons of our ancestors continue to shape our lives.
At A&I Wealth Management, we’re committed to helping you navigate this journey of legacy planning. Whether it’s through financial guidance, brainstorming sessions, or connecting you with the right resources, we’re here to support you in creating a lasting testament to your family’s history. Remember, it’s never too late to start. Every step you take towards preserving your family’s legacy is a step towards a richer, more meaningful future.
