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Have you ever wondered why certain financial decisions feel effortless while others trigger an immediate sense of anxiety or avoidance?
What is your first memory about money?
Maybe it’s the sense of pride from earning money for yourself for the first time, your first job, or the excitement of an allowance. It could be the thrill of spending a hard-earned dollar on something at the gas station or the stress of parents fighting over finances.
Not just your first memory, but the entirety of financial experiences from our formative years can influence our “money scripts.” The story about money that we internalize can have a profound effect on our decisions and priorities as adults – whether we know it or not!
Types of Money Scripts
Broadly speaking, there are four types of money scripts:
- Money Status: In short, net worth = self-worth. If I’m a good person, I’ll be financially set.
- Money Worship: The key to all of my problems? More money. I tend to spend – and give – recklessly.
- Money Vigilance: I am always monitoring my spending and saving. I usually make good financial choices but am often plagued by insecurity.
- Money Avoidance: Wealth is not something to be admired, but to be ashamed of. I believe money is inherently bad.
All of us have bits and pieces of these scripts within us, and each of these scripts comes with different strengths and weaknesses.
However, with a little bit of work, we can uncover our money scripts and improve our relationship with money. Try one of the following:
- Sit down and write down a few of the “money stories” you were told growing up. What money stories do you tell your kids or loved ones?
- Talk with someone who knows you well – a spouse or a sibling, for example – about money scripts and share stories with each other. What do they see in you, and what do you see in them?
Talk to your financial advisor. We’re here to listen. We devote time to understanding who you are and what is important to you and your family. Our clients often say this is the best conversation about money they have ever had.
MINI FAQ
What exactly is a “Money Script”? A money script is an unconscious belief or “story” about money that we develop in childhood. These scripts are often passed down through generations and act as the internal blueprint for how we handle spending, saving, and investing as adults. Identifying your script is the first step toward aligning your behavior with your actual goals.
Can my money script change over time? Yes. While these scripts are deeply ingrained, they are not permanent. Through a process called Values-Based Financial Planning, you can bring these unconscious beliefs to the surface. Once you understand the “why” behind your habits, you can consciously choose to rewrite your script to better support your current goals and family relationships.
How do money scripts affect couples? Conflict in relationships often arises when partners have opposing money scripts (e.g., a “Money Vigilant” person married to a “Money Avoider”). Recognizing each other’s scripts allows for a more empathetic conversation about finances, moving away from blame and toward a coordinated family strategy.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog post is for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial or legal advice. Please consult with a qualified professional for advice regarding your specific situation.
DISCLOSURE: Client stories included in this blog reflect hypothetical client situations that represent those commonly encountered by AIWM representatives.
